I Finally Made It To The Space Needle...

... always imagined it to be bigger, for some reason.

It Took Me Over 20 Hours To Post This, Really. Must'a Been The Rain...

I recently visited the town of Twin Peaks...

... both of them.

If you're familiar with the Lynch-ian creation by (in a purely Lynch-ian twist) director David Lynch, then you might remember the waterfalls in the opening credits.

If you're unfamiliar with the dreamy television series that carries on the deeply-set eye socketed Eastern European tradition of Franz Katakana, then let me tell you this: There are some waterfalls in the opening credits.

Got a minute and thirty? Trust me, it'll be the most serene moment of your digitally-addled day.



Twin Peaks is a fictional town.

Only problem is: Everything inside it... is not.

I present to you Exhibit A:

Or as I like to call it:

Exhibit B:

A Man Who Looks Suspiciously Like Ed Murray Standing Next to Falls That Suspiciously Look Like Falls.

Suspicious Angle #2 (i.e. Suspicious Angle #2)

'Twas at this moment that Ed Murray realized what was 'twasn't once truly 'twas...

(Think that 5 times fast!)

Court is now in session for:

The People of An Imaginary Town
v.
Twin Peaks is a Real Place and Ed Murray Went There


If you know Ed Murray, then you probably don't know that he is a huge Twin Peaks fan. If this is news to you, then it's probably because Ed Murray has a lot of secrets that he only divulges to his closest baby rabbits.

It was a beautiful day in the first town of Twin Peaks. In the surreal twist that one would expect, the sign welcoming you as you enter the town refers to another town: "Snoqualmie Welcomes You."

As if Snoqualmie, Washington was one of the towns in which Twin Peaks was filmed as opposed to being one-half of the actual, fictional Twin Peaks...

Suddenly, with a flash of light, I realized that I was on a mission.

Good thing I stepped in some fresh mission. I hate to see that stuff go to waste.

I searched high and low only to reach highs and lows...

Then I stumbled upon the very place that the body of Amanda Palmer was found...

Oh, no, wait a second, my bad, Amanda Palmer is the lead singer of alt-awesome band, The Dresden Dolls. (If you have the means, I highly recommend picking their debut album up):



I meant 'The place where the body of Laura Palmer was found.' Sorry.

The Little Man Talking Backwards Village Police reported finding the body of Laura Palmer in this abandoned railyard:


A grisly scene indeed...




















A grisly bear indeed...


In search of the truth lurking beneath the surface of this town, I made my way to this huge log.


Where I found this graffiti...

One could say the plot thickens... if one could talk to the log.

At this point, I couldn't stand the beautiful views and the fresh air; it was making me happy... and it's common knowledge that no one ever solved a fictitious crime in a place that didn't exist while they were happy.


I had to eat something. Luckily, I spotted the very imaginary cafe that I was seeking...

You believe this? Here's a picture of me in front of Twede's posing as if to say 'You believe this?'

Predictably, a cup of coffee greeted me at the door.

I ordered a slice of cherry pie.

A grisly pie indeed...

From my seat, I saw a clue... look closely...



If you've ever seen Twin Peaks, you know that pinball machines (like this one barely visible through a small window) don't play a part in the series at all.

And now you know just as much as you did before.

Further exploration led me down a hall; a checkered hall... a checkered past?

A checkered urinal?



Frustrated with my lack of progress in solving a crime I had forgotten about, I sought clues from the Twin Peaks movie, hoping to find some information that would help.



However, I found only this man who claimed to be my friend, "Lance." Apparently, he believes that he told me about this town because he grew up here in North Bend (the other half of Twin Peaks.) He also claims that he's been the one taking pictures of me. I don't know what's in the water here in Twin Peaks... but what a CRAZOID!

Right?! Am I right, ladies?! I'll be here all week, folks, tip your walrus!

At this point, I conceded that my mission was a failure. I had come here hoping to uncover the truth about Laura Palmer's death, when really I should've gone to Netflix to find that out... so I'm planning a trip to Netflix, Idaho next month.

Instead of going straight home, I crossed the street and went to see a movie... both of them.

Both of them.




DELETED SCENE:

There is a man that you can barely make out on the left side of this picture.

He is eating.

And he is wearing a Twin Peaks Sheriff's Department hat. No lie.



This guy wearing the hat was the most truthful part of this entire blog. I never really went to this town or took any of these pictures.

How could I have done any of those things? Visiting Twin Peaks didn't happen because it wasn't real...

It was only one of my dreams...

And In News That Actually Affects Me...

The woman whom I like most on this planet was accepted into the Masters program for the School of Social Work at the University of Washington.

I'm very happy for, very proud of, and very can't wait with, and for, and of, and with...!!!

So, as a celebration, and in response to our loyal fan base here at Third Evolution, pictures get shown now! (Translated from the original German.)

Guess which one is her!

Is she...

A)

B)



or C)



If you guessed Y) Am I Taking This Quiz Again...?
...then you were right!

Congratulations, Sweetie!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Beautiful...

(Pancake rabbit pictures courtesy of googling the phrase "pancake rabbit pictures.")

Yes We Can All Just Get Along

This is a picture of a Smart Car next to a Ford Thunderbird that is nearly twice its physical size and probably has an illegal engine under its hood.

Ed Murray basks right in the glory of their peaceful co-existence.



Harmony is possible.

I think Seattle is great.

This is an amazing 3 1/2 min. video of The Ultimate Warrior. It renders the mind useless.

It's Snowing Over Seattle Tonight...

I caught snowflakes off Puget Sound with my tongue.

Well... not really, but I thought it would sound cool to say.

I did catch snowflakes with my tongue on my roof... which is near Puget Sound!

But that doesn't sound as good.

I think I just like using the word 'Puget.'

Beautiful, nonetheless.

Puget.

Where's Ed Murray?

I just moved across the country, to a town I've never been to, for a new job.

... it's great.

Would. You. Like to play a game ...?

After bouncing around Ballad, Fremont, and Vancouver, I finally made it downtown.

To this exact street corner.

This is Ed at the first Starbucks on Pike's Place. It's the happiest I've ever seen him.


Can you find Ed amongst all the fresh fruits and vegetables?
(Hint to New Yorkers: Ed is the thing that isn't vibrantly colored.)


Here's a picture of Shorty's. But where's Ed Murray?

There's Ed at work.
And at the end of the day, Ed takes some work home with him.

Ed is having a lot of fun and working very hard.

Goodnight, Ed ...

New Piece on McSweeney's

New piece up on McSweeney's.

Thanks to Grubard for pointing it out!

Clickey clickey ...

This is an emu.
This is only an emu.

Leaving Las Yorkas

Currently, I live here:

Well, actually, I live in Brooklyn, in Ditmas Park, here:


Well, not in this particular house. This is actually more indicative of where I live:


I recently got a job at a large video game company out west that begins with an 'N' and ends with an 'intendo.' So I'll be moving here:


Well, I won't actually be moving to The Space Needle, but ... ugh ... you get the point.

Come to my last Sound Fix show! Great show tonight, 8pm, free as always!

comedy free williamsburg
@ Sound Fix 8pm

FEATURING
DC Benny (Comedy Central's Premium Blend)
Chris Laker (Gettin' Some)
Jamie Lee (NYUCF Emerging Comics Contest Runner-Up)
Lee Camp (Huffington Post, 23/6)
Pete Holmes (Live at Gotham)
Sean O'Conner (This American Life)

Hosted by Ed Murray (McSweeney's, Sirius Radio)
w/Mo Diggs (The Apiary)

110 Bedford Ave/N 11th
L to Bedford, G to Nassau

It's like stand-up comedy ... but funny.

I'll miss you, New York pizza.

Under The Bridge ... Literal Version

Sometimes comedy really makes me laugh.



Thanks to Mr. Bishop!

Bush Declares 51st State of Emergency, The State of My Teeth Address

New Piece on 23/6, "Bush Declares 51st State of Emergency."

Click here for all of the witty mayhem. Do that Digg It Thing if you likes it!


As for me, I just got my teeth cleaned, and have been advised to only eat '"white food" for the next 12-24 hours.

Even in the Obama Era, the color barrier still exists ...